The goofiest of the goofy men came from the mountains. They had lived there for many years, in a small establishment which they fondly called The Mountain Men Establishment Upon Which We Look Fondly. It was in 4062 that they had first moved up to the mountains, coming up from the outskirts of the world’s largest city, Megamathaward. They had grown tired of viewing all the eyeballs and ice cream relics which were found all over the city. They no longer wanted to be part of the Order of the Night Cats and they certainly wanted nothing to do with the Religion of Cultic Fanaticals.

They had constructed most of the Establishment by 5327. It was mainly a collection of small huts, which they called Aquapiks–which were used for selling goods–and small storefronts, which they called Picklejams–which were used as homes. Most of the buildings were constructed of lunar saw dust, which is actually a very sturdy building material once it’s been placed in a Zip or Rar machine and compressed to a near-singularity. The best thing about this material, though, is the fact that it has been incredibly abundant ever since the moon was sawn into four peices–one for each of the major Tribes–in 2104. The lunar saw dust had been raining down to earth for many years, and while many of the Earth-dwellers were growing tired of eating it, sleeping in it, wearing it and bathing in it, the Mountain Men gladly made use of it.

This is one key element that ideologically separated them from the most of the other societies in the galaxy; in particular the Religion of Cultic Fanaticals, who had first rallied in 2112 in order to begin secret construction of a large shield to block the lunar saw dust from ever reaching earth. The shield was going to be called Large Shield Num. 12 & 35, but its construction was never completed. Each time a piece of the shield was put into orbit, one of the four major Tribes would immediately begin squabbling over ownership of what they felt was a gift from Earth.

Unfortunately, it is not physically possible for the Religion of Cultic Fanaticals to communicate by any conventional means with any of the major Tribes, as the Tribes use a very refined smell and taste-based language. Any time the Earth-dwellars attempted to communicate with the major Tribes, the Tribes heard only what sounded to them like sweet music and fell immediately to sleep. Each time communication was attempted in the other direction, the Earth-dwellars smelled and tasted the best food imaginable which put them into states of pure ecstasy.

The benefit of this situation is that the Earth-dwellars as well as the four Tribes were peaceful towards most other societies because they were so content. The major drawback, of course, has to do with the fact that direct communication is not possible and that the Tribes interpret anything more than 50,013′ above the surface of the oceans as gifts, and once they’re taken, there is no way for the Earth-dwellars to explain to the four Tribes that this is not the case. This is where the Religion of Cultic Fanaticals ran into trouble with their project.

So, the Mountain Men made use of the lunar saw dust as much as possible and got along quite well up in the mountains. Communication with Megamathaward was never attempted, because the Mountain Men refused to go back to the city. The inhabitants of Megamathaward never found out where the Mountain Men had actually went, so it was simply assumed that they had inadvertently tunneled through spacetime. This was a satisfactory arrangement for everyone involved.

The favorite activity of the Mountain Men was to perform what they called Sit-down routines, in which a person would take stage and be audience to a room full of people telling jokes. The Mountain Men also enjoyed sunsets and long walks on the beech stand.

Everything went very well for the Mountain Men until 8973 when a group of unknown humanoids apparently tunneled through spacetime and suddenly appeared on the mountainside very close to the Establishment. Unbeknownst to the Mountain Men, the new arrivals were actually from a city on the other side of the mountain called Don’t Look Now But… and after thousands of years they had grown tiresome and decided to explore more of the mountain.

The Mountain Men did not welcome visitors, especially those who tunelled through spacetime. The Montain Men were incredibly democratic, so they took a vote in order to decide what to do. The winning vote was to walk to the nearest large cliff and jump off. Though reluctant, all of the mountain men obliged because they were very democratic. They never would find out that the winning vote was actually to ignore the new arrivals as long as possible and send out a peace-convoy when absolutely necessary. This solution had 1,000 votes, but it was read as 0001. The other solution had 0001 votes, but it was read as 1,000.

The arrivals from Don’t Look Now But… were very puzzled by the actions of the Mountain Men, and fearing the Establishment was cursed, they blocked it off entirely and vowed never to return.