College is hard right now for me. Not hard because my classes are especially difficult academically, but rather because my classes are frustrating and I dislike big projects that have to fall exactly within someone else’s guidelines. My personality dictates that I’m better at (and much more interested in) finding an alternate, and sometimes better, way. In everyday situations, I often feel that my way is the best way, and that tends to create a lot of conflict when working with other people who feel similarly about their own ingenuity.

At this point in my life I have worked at enough places (temporary as they may be) to know, fully, that I’d rather do my own thing than follow someone else’s lead. I don’t tend to let this cause a lot of problems, provided other people aren’t especially pushy. In such cases where they are pushy, I find myself at odds with authority and I have a difficult time accepting things the way they are, and I especially have a hard time understanding why the person in charge is in charge. After all, it could be anyone else – it could be me in charge. It could be someone with a less obtrusive ego and a better way of explaining things.

But that’s usually not the case. And it’s hard to come to terms with. It’s hard to not be the one making the rules, especially when the rules don’t make sense and practically beg to be broken. All I can hope is that someday I’ll be able to do my own thing and do it well enough to be successful. I have ideas and I have the drive, but there are seemingly impassable barriers that need to be broken.